My (own) kind of winter

If being in love is spring, then most probably I’m forever stay in winter.
It’s just like… what… hum… the winter loves me so much and doesn’t want me to go?
A friend told me that I’m just being insecure and freaked myself so much, I have to say he’s right. *shrugs* I have nothing to deny that fact. I admit I’m such a cold person. Bleh, I’m heartless! Don’t have one, don’t want one.


Recently, the ‘spring poison’ is spreading rapidly, very, very, very rapidly. Bleh… what kind of disease is this >_< Annoying. Uber annoying. Nah, it’s not jealous. I’m way much too proud of myself to feel jealous about such petty things. But I admit that it annoys me at certain point.

It’s like… telling the people that they have nothing to do except being lovey dovey and not afraid or even ashamed to hide it. While in my opinion, such acts are better at low, I mean… hide it, will you! Most of the times I’d just shrug it off and ignore (or in ‘milder’ language, I call it as “I don’t give a damn”). But recently, those acts really pissed me off.

*an inner voice : Don’t you realize that it’s just sheer jealousy cause you NEVER do that?
me: Wha? Me? jealous? hell no!
*another inner voice: Yeah yeah… denial. Just as usual.
me: I’m not denying! I just don’t like viewing such scene.
*the ebilest inner voice: Well, if you’re in their position. Can you guarantee that you won’t do the same as them?
me: No idea. But most probably no. Why should I share such moments with so many people watching? *smirks* Hell no!
*another ebilest inner voice: Okay, it’s decided. You’re jealous cause you hardly do that. And now you’re throwing tantrum.
me: I’m not!!!!
*all inner voices: denial… denial… *pats the denying girl*
me: yeah yeah… whatever.

Okay, as a notice I’m not denying, nor feel jealous, or whatsoever. No… My point is on how the spring virus annoyed me to an extend that I have never thought before. Gosh… something annoyed me, to an extend, for an unknown reason. Perfect? Guess so.
I remember Ayah Calvin ever called me as “cold girl” right after he said “anakku is a woman!”

*sighs* As I ever said, if the world is covered in Spring. I prefer to have myself shut alone in everlasting winter. It’s lovely, once you have a good hold on it *nods*

Song Mood: Husking Bee – Brightest; L`arc~en~Ciel – Feeling Fine; Amy Winehouse – Love is a losing game.

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